I Struggled To Tell Who Was Real” – Gowon Speaks On Marriage Battles

Former Nigerian Head of State, Yakubu Gowon, has opened up on the challenges he faced in getting married during his time in power, saying his position made it difficult to distinguish genuine affection from interest driven by influence and authority.

According to Ireporter Online, Gowon made the revelations in his autobiography, My Life of Duty and Allegiance, launched in Abuja, where he reflected on his early years as Nigeria’s leader, his personal struggles with relationships, and how his responsibilities shaped his private life.

Gowon, who assumed office in July 1966 at the age of 31 while still unmarried, explained that he devoted much of his early life to his military career and national duties, which kept him constantly on the move and left little room for settling down. He noted that his single status also made him more available for international military training and strategic assignments.

He further revealed that attempts to form serious relationships at the time were often unsuccessful, as he struggled with trust issues and the difficulty of identifying sincere intentions amid widespread admiration tied to his office. He also recalled that during the civil war period, several women approached him at Dodan Barracks, some under the guise of friendship, while others subtly encouraged him to consider marriage.

Gowon recounted that one attempted introduction involved a woman being brought to him through a family connection, but he felt no personal attraction, and the relationship did not progress. He added that years later, after he eventually married, the same individual expressed disappointment over his choice of spouse.

Speaking on how he met his wife, Victoria, he said their first encounter occurred in 1964 when she was still in secondary school, and they later met again during her nursing training at the University College Hospital, Ibadan. He explained that he initially showed little romantic interest, but over time, her calm nature, maturity, and personality left a strong impression on him, gradually changing his perspective on marriage.

He eventually married Victoria Gowon on April 19, 1969, during the Nigerian Civil War. Gowon noted that the timing of the wedding attracted criticism due to the tense national situation, and he also dismissed rumours suggesting that his wife influenced or distracted him from other relationships, describing such claims as false.

He emphasized that despite public scrutiny, his marriage has remained strong over the decades, crediting his wife’s loyalty and support throughout their life together.