Health Alert: Penises Shrinking Because Of Pollution-Expert Warns

In case you needed another reason to care about the climate crisis, it has been found that pollution is causing human penises to shrink.

A leading epidemiologist and environmental scientist have published a book that examines the link between industrial chemicals and penile length.

Dr Shanna Swan’s book, Count Down, argues that our modern world is altering humans’ reproductive development and threatening the future of our species.

The book outlines how pollution is leading to higher rates of erectile dysfunction, fertility decline, and growing numbers of babies born with small penises. Though the headline fact about shrinkage may sound like a laughing matter, the research paints a bleak portrait of humanity’s longevity and ability to survive.

“In some parts of the world, the average twenty-something today is less fertile than her grandmother was at 35,” Dr Swan writes, dubbing the situation a “global existential crisis” in the book.

“Chemicals in our environment and unhealthy lifestyle practices in our modern world are disrupting our hormonal balance, causing various degrees of reproductive havoc.”

Valorization of natural resources can be a decisive contributor to the improvement of the living conditions in developing countries.

According to the book, humans meet three of the five possible criteria used to define whether or not a species is endangered. “Only one needs to be met,” writes Dr Swan, “the current state of affairs for humans meets at least three.”